Rhythm and the darker side of Blues

159^th Boat Race, Mortlake, 31 March 2013

Oxford beat Cambridge by a length and a third

2011 world M2- under-23 champions Constantine Louloudis and George Nash can speak to each other again, after their second and last boat race as rivals. Photograph: James Felt

If this was football, Steve Trapmore would be walking the plank by now. His record is now two losses to one win, and there have been times in the past, both post and ante the exceptional Robin Williams, where Coach on the Cam falls foul of an insecure hierarchy. The nature of the event plays to uncertainty. Only one fixture matters and there are no places other than first. As one of the most enduring players once put it to me, in the Boat Race there are only styles – winning and losing.

At least one thing is different from the football sin bins, however. After Trapmore’s crew had just been defeated in the 159^th match with Oxford, the man himself walked along the beach at the finish and shook opposite number Sean Bowden by the hand. And Sean shook it. No Ice Cold Alex, him.

It may look bleak for Cambridge right now – Oxford are creeping nearer to squaring the score, which now stands at 77 Dark wins to 81 Light – but before the Light Blue heavies start re-reading his soon-to-expire contract, let’s have a look at Trapmore’s third. It is too early to man the panic stations.

For this was a great race, the sort of race you hope for and sort of race that last year’s might have been but for unusual circumstances. Fourteen minutes of side-by-side passed before clear water was visible between the boats. Oxford chose Surrey but tried to row on Middlesex for much of the way, or so it seemed to me from the launch nearest to the Surrey bank.

After a tolerably good start – “I thought our start was OK,” said Sean, “Fortunately our bad ones are still OK, and I thought it was one of those” – Oxford were warned twice by umpire Pinsent before they reached Newens Marine’s premises, but had squeezed to about four seats up at the Black Buoy (still painted yellow, by the way). Soon after that Sir Matt was warning both, and then Cambridge, and there was clashing. Zorrilla was quicker to respond than Fieldman, he said. The flag man at the Mile Post would have us believe that the crews were level, because he only lowered his flag once, but Oxford were in the lead there by at least a couple of seats.

From my perch the crews still looked far to Middlesex and, approaching Harrods, Cambridge were warned twice, and were clocked two seconds slower than the Dark Blues to Hammersmith Bridge.

By now, with both crews rhythmic and rating about 33 all the way from the third minute, Oxford had failed to capitalise on their lead. There would be no rocketing booster to open the gap, despite an attempt as they shot the bridge. They were not more than three-quarters of a length up passing Latymer School, where the Cambridge cox Henry Fieldman learned his trade, and the Light Blues held the outside of that long bend all the way to Chiswick Steps, where the margin equalled the two seconds at Hammersmith.

After the Steps comes the Crossing, where the river bends left but the Tideway veers off the Surrey flats towards the Middlesex station. Land water was probably applying the brake by now, and Oxford at last opened clear water while facing the outside of the last bend. Coxswain Oskar Zorrilla faced a make-or-break calculation. Would taking Cambridge’s water make or break his crew?

“We knew we were ahead but not enough to tactically alter the race,” he said. “We were not going to be able to cross in front, and so I had 20 strokes to decide what to do. Asking them to push for 20 strokes was asking for great reserves – 20 strokes is a lot. So coming to the crossing I looked behind me, saw where Cambridge were, and looking ahead at the bend in their favour decided it was a trade-off I was willing to take.”

He moved in line ahead, risking a Cambridge surge to bump, and it went in his favour. “It was the guys, the guys who were putting in the work; they answered when I asked them to push.”

Cambridge could not produce the surge, but Fieldman cleverly manoevered them just off centre of Oxford’s stern to minimalise being washed down by the Dark Blues’ stern. And the pressure never let up. They shot Barnes Bridge five seconds behind, and still with the bend in their favour, stepped on the gas again, while Zorrilla sidled toward Surrey to put his boat beyond territorial danger. The gap at the finish was four seconds, or a length and a third.

A length and a third or about 80 feet is not a lot of difference after four and a quarter miles of rhythm and Blues. The 159^th is the latest example of a Boat Race that goes the distance, and Pinsent, umpiring his first Boat race, was highly chuffed that both crews were given an equal chance to display what they are capable of. It was packed with the action we like to see, not the action of misplaced protest, and that should please BNY Mellon in their first year of sponsorship.

Bowden praised Cambridge’s sharp start and dangerous pursuit. The late, great Acer Nethercott was honoured with his name on Oxford’s boat. Zorrilla was thrown in the drink. And it is too soon for Trapmore to walk the plank. He did as good a job as Bowden in melding a boat-load of oarsmen from Melbourne (Oz) to Litomerice (Czech Rep), or in Sean’s case from Christchurch NZ to Bozeman, Montana, and everywhere in between.

Though I pity whoever’s lot it was to make the speech at the Cambridge dinner on Sunday night. There was a ding-dong reserves’ race where the lead changed a couple of times and Isis emerged narrow victors by a third of a length. So the day added two Dark Blue victories to the four gained a week before at Dorney, where the women and their reserves and the lightweight men and women won, giving Oxford a clean sweep. The happiest man on the bank was Neil Chugani who was Oxford’s dinner toaster. He had prepared one for each possible outcome. How nice to be able to scatter the agony one to the winds. That’s metaphorical, by the way. The promised east wind was not a factor in Oxford’s day.

An hour after the race, when the needle for the 160th Battle of the Blues began, the tide turned under fading light at Mortlake, and flotsam resembling a body bag floated past the press centre, bound for Gravesend. Reporters stood to bid farewell to Trenton Oldfield.

Christopher Dodd

2013 Boat Race
Oxford beat Cambridge by 1 and 1/3 lengths
Mile Post: Ox 3-46, Cam 3-46 (Ox slightly ahead)
Hammersmith Bridge: Ox 6-49, Cam 6-51
Chiswick Steps: Ox 10-42, Cam 10-44
Barnes Bridge: Ox 14-28, Cam 14-33
Finish: Oxford 17-28, Cambridge 17-32
 
2013 Reserves race
Isis beat Goldie by 1/3 length
Mile Post: Goldie 3-48*, Isis 3-49
Hammersmith Bridge: Both crews 6-53
Chiswick Steps: Isis 10-51, Goldie 10-52
Barnes Bridge: Goldie 14-46*, Isis 14-47
Finish: Isis 17-51, Goldie 17-52
* denotes loser leading at this point

159th Boat Race: Tell it to the marines

Donald Legget, rower and coach for the Light Blues for five decades, surveys the potentially treacherous Tideway water of his 50th Boat Race

The chief sport at Putney these past days leading to the 159^th Boat race has been looking out for parked cars likely to be swallowed by vigorous high tides. But inevitably after the high jinks of last year, the unmentionable cur who made the 158^th race one of two halves has hogged the headlines and the copy, if not quite the limelight.

He has been braying to the Spectator that he is a sought-after consultant to the Met in their desire “to facilitate any peaceful protest” and to afford him his “lawful rights without causing disruption or danger to himself or others” – surely a cunning ploy by the cops to get the cur to leave his wet suit at home and tag himself.

It appears to have worked if you can believe his statement to the magazine that he intends to go rambling in the Cotswolds this weekend. Incidentally, several Spectator respondents to the latest news of the Aussie class warrior wonder why he is permitted to remain in the country.

Last year was not just the near beheading of an idiot. The re-start was soon followed by a clash in which, umpires are agreed, Oxford were at fault, only to be punished by breaking a blade and losing the race. The inevitable delay in re-starting is reckoned as a factor in the collapse of Alex Woods, the former lightweight in Oxford’s bow seat, into unconsciousness (Alex is happily appearing this year in the Isis crew).

Which is another reason why the marines, never mind the Met, have been called in to give armed on-the-water protection to ensure that the river remains free. In the words of this year’s umpire, Sir Matt Pinsent, “I wouldn’t want to be part of a Boat Race where it was impossible for someone to get access to the river, because that would mean crowd barriers. Much as I disagree with the cause and the manner of the protest last year, I still want to be part of a society that allows the idea of protest.”

My suspicion is that there is nothing new in armed marines floating about on Boat Race Day. But the race organisers have rightly reviewed safety and emergency procedures. They have set clearer guidelines for who should do what in the unlikely event of a stoppage.

And so to the recipe for the elite – in the best possible sense – for the 159^th Boat Race.

Ingredients – sixteen good men and true, plus two coxswains. Active brain to admit candidate to study at university of choice. University fees or horrendous loan. Physical fitness and mental agility. Professional high-calibre coaches. Ability to pull an oar and move a boat. Funding for boat club, now from BNY Mellon. Stamina to get to the end of the Fulham Wall to earn that Blue blazer that you have to pay for yourself.

Hazards – ire of the umpire, who may be God but is powerless in the face of obtuse coxes. Wind from the side. Wind from ahead. Wind from behind. Eddies, whirlpools and waves. Strong tide, weak tide, heavy land water. Snow, sleet, vertical and horizontal rain. The other boat (which looks good on paper and swift on water, guys, belive it). Driftwood, swimmers, armed marines, PLA launches.

This week the crews have been paddling about, practising starts and preening themselves, posing for team photos while hoping to peak on the day. They sent their presidents, coxes and coaches to press conferences at which questions about unexpected occurrences and sore points were fended.

Dark Blue coach Sean Bowden was asked if revenge was a motive this year. Who do we take vengeance on, he asked in reply.  His president, Alex Davidson, said it may be irksome to have lost last year, but the important thing is winning this year.

Oxford had five returning Blues of whom three made it into the boat, including the London 2012 bronze medallist Constantine Louloudis, who also stands out because he is the only Etonian afloat this year. His stroke is Malcolm Howard, Canadian silver medallist at London 2012 who was coached by Mike Spracklen who brought success to Oxford after the mutiny of 1987. They are using a boat christened Acer Nethercott in memory of their illustrious cox who died recently of brain cancer.

Cambridge coach Steve Trapmore said that this is his best crew and squad since he has been on the Cam, which is three years. Bowden’s been around too long to be besting, having won eight with Oxford and two with Cambridge in a previous life from 17 starts. Light Blue president George Nash, also a London 2012 bronze medallist, is the only Brit on board apart from his cox, Henry Fielding, who learned the Tideway from Latymer.

Between them the crews have six nationalities, including Cambridge’s Milan Bruncvik as the first Boat Race Czech (apart from Bob Janousek who coached them for a year, yonks ago).

If Cambridge win, one factor could be their new secret weapon. The railway beside the bleak Ouse at Ely has been electrified, providing stanchions at regular intervals as speed- and timing-ometers and the opportunity to out-pace trains. But like James Cracknell in the Telegraph, my instinct tells me that Oxford will win on Sunday. Then again, tell that to the marines.

Christopher Dodd 

Putting the W into the weigh-in

The men’s 2013 Blue Boats square up to each other on the Tideway shoals at Putney.

University Boat Races crew announcement and weigh-in

Blackfriars, Monday 4 March 2013

‘This is a time when, we argue, it is essential to be active and flexible; it is no time to be passive. Indeed, the risk warning that you see on investment products – that past performance is no guide to future performance – really does hold true.’

My text is taken from the financial market prospects for 2013 and beyond as seen by Newton, the global thematic investing company that is part of Bank of New York Mellon, sponsors of the women’s and men’s boat races respectively. If the analysts at Newton didn’t get the wisdom of past performance being no guide to future performance from the University Boat Race, then they might just as well have done. The men have been testing the maxim since 1829, and being active and flexible to peak on the day is an ingredient of a day in the office for Boat Race coaches, whether they are preparing crews to battle from Putney to Mortlake or belt down Henley Reach.

Such thoughts occurred at Monday’s weigh-in for the crews for the women’s race on March 24 at Henley and the men’s on March 31 at Putney. It was historic because the it was the first occasion that the men’s and women’s crews had weighed in together, the first move in the transfer of the women’s race to Boat Race Day on the Tideway in two years’ time.

The proceedings in the comfort of the Blackfriars HQ of Mellon and Newton began with the obligatory deep throated sound track under scenes of Boat race grunt and grind – ‘Time for the talking to stop! Time for the heart to start ticking! When eight become one! Human synergy in perfect motion! For this one moment, the time has come!

It was good to note that some of the footage belonged to Acer Nethercott’s crews, the philosopher, physicist and cox who steered Oxford to victory in both the men’s and women’s races in the course of his career, and who died of brain cancer this year at all too young an age.

When the fanfare and screen malarkey died down, there was Sir Matt Pinsent, umpire of the men’s race, to master the ceremonies in the chair. The crews sat facing each other, men on bar stools and women on chairs in front, as Matt called them up to the scales by seat.

Pounds were translated to stones, pounds and ounces on screens – so much more clinical than the old days when an old heavy would take the readings and laboriously do the conversion while everyone waited with baited breath while harbouring their own opinion about the maths. Matt didn’t have to do any sums, but he fell over himself a couple of times in the excitement of compering the first joint weigh-in by inadvertently inserting a ‘W’ when referring to OUBC and CUBC.

For the record, Cambridge’s women are heavier, averaging (excluding coxes) 11st 10oz to Oxford’s 10st 6lb 13oz; while the Oxford men are 14st 12lb 12oz to Cambridge’s 14st 6lb 14oz. There was a welcome absence of going for a record by drinking litres of water beforehand and rushing for the loos afterwards. Statistically heavier crews win more races, but don’t put money on it.

On grooming and sartorial matters, short hair is clearly in for men and long for women. They would all look great on the catwalk if they didn’t have to wear predictable shades of blue Lycra. Helena Morrisey, Newton’s chief executive, took the chic prize for a dark blue cardi worn over an elegant light blue print dress.

The Oxford women wore their hair up as if ready to step into the boat. The Cambridge women wore theirs down. This was not just to distinguish them from the enemy, but also to flaunt their locks over the left breast to cover up the accidental CUBC logo on their lovely Hackett tops. Where Matt kept inserting the W, Hackett unfortunately lost it.

The coaches, Christine Wilson (OUWBC), Rob Baker (CUWBC), Sean Bowden (OUBC) and Steve Trapmore (CUBC), predictably expressed their joy at the support of their sponsors and the preparedness of their crews. Once off the stage, Bowden admitted that the old tradition of clashing in side-by-side pieces with London University had been revived, and that Oxford may have bitten off more than they can chew when a German composite of current or ex-internationals turns up to race them on March 17.

Newton quotes the Chinese curse in its market prospects literature that also applies to boat races – ‘May you live in interesting times.’

The 2013 women’s Blue Boats

Christopher Dodd

Australia win points by losing cat-and-mouse sprint

Two of the world’s best coxless fours in the first of two head-to-head races this week

Britain’s coxless four retained its winning record at this regatta but may have conceded a point in the psychological battle, as Australia took the wind out of their sails by visibly letting them win their semi-final ahead of Saturday’s final.

The early showdown between Britain and Australia was always going to be massive.  The coxless fours stats between Britain and Australia stood at 2-1 in favour of Australia as the six semi-finalists sat on the start, at stake three places in the final.  The Brits didn’t want to lose in front of a home crowd.  But the Aussies don’t like defeat either.  How were both going to save face?

The conundrum was solved in the most obvious way by a quartet of canny Australians, who proved themselves masters of game-play and rowed precisely the race they will have wanted.  As in Munich they took a fast start, easing into a half-length lead over GB during the first third of the race while both flew lengths away from the chasing pack.  Britain’s first push closed the gap a little just before half-way, but Australia inched it back in the second third.  Then came the British charge.

If you thought the shouts for the women’s pair yesterday were massive, the roar which built as the crews and peleton of cycling coaches approached the grandstand was twice as big, a swelling clamour demanding a win from the British four.  Andy Triggs Hodge, Tom James, Pete Reed and Alex Gregory responded, sprinting to over forty strokes a minute and quickly closing the gap.  As they came level Australia’s rate came up to match.  With  little over 100m to go both crews sat locked, rowing stroke for stroke and sitting nose to nose — or more accurately bow-ball to bow-ball.

But it quickly became apparent that Australia, while racing hard, were not after all going for the win.  It was as if they had said, “ok if you really want this one, take it.  We will wait for the final.”   After a few strokes level they deliberately dropped their speed, and it was this which let Britain through to win by nearly a full second.  Australia crossed the line under-rating Britain by four strokes a minute, a clear statement that they didn’t think this one mattered enough to push one more time.

This is very different from the badminton scandal:  since the top three crews out of six all qualified for the medal final on Saturday, it was not a case of gaining easier opposition in a future round.  It is common in rowing, if you think you won’t win a semi-final, to save some energy — and tactics — for future races.  There is no point in showing all the shots in your locker at one go if by hiding a few you can lull your opposition into a false sense of security.  Two questions remain:  will the Brits fall for it?  And how much of their own speed did they show?  That sprint came much later than you would expect.

No doubt both crews will claim they had plenty left in the tank.  They have to survive another two days of waiting and wondering which of them is faster, before they can prove it on Saturday.  And with the USA remaining unbeaten with a decent time in the other semi-final, and untested on the international circuit this year, it’s anyone’s guess what they can do under pressure so it could be a three-boat rush.  The war of words will continue, and now it’s two-all in the rowing Ashes with one match to go.

Rachel Quarrell

Semi relationships and awesome foursomes

The score between the British and Australian fours is 2-1 to Oz (two victories in Munich, one loss in Lucerne). Now there is the tantalising prospect of drawing level  if the Poms beat the Convicts in the semi-final in which they are both drawn.  If this should turn out to be the case,  and assuming both qualified, the final would be the decider.

The question is, though, why would either crew bust a gut to beat the other in a semi-final , unless the challenger’s final place is threatened?  Jimmy Tomkins who rowed with Drew Ginn in the Australian foursome that won the Olympic in 1996 in Atlanta, says that the semi was just an irritant on the way to the final. They didn’t bother more than to finish third, ‘and we almost came to blows after it.’

So irritant the semi was, but the final added more Aussie gold to that earned in Barcelona in 1992. since ’96, of course, the coxless four has been the province of the Poms, with wins in 2000, 2004 and 2008. hence the friendly rivalry has helped to fuel the whingers from Down Under who have been complaining about the GB team having their own hotel and private water transport to Dorney Lake and moaning that the roar of the crowd is biased toward the Brits and putting Aussie rowers off their stride. Dear oh dear, surely not.

Barney Williams, who was in the Canadian boat that lost to the Brits in Athens by the width of a maple leaf, is uncertain if racing the main opponents in the semi would have made a difference. ‘Why would you go out to beat them if you were certain of qualifying?’ he asks. There could only be one reason, which he is sure both coaches are aware of. ‘If the likely weather conditions are thought to affect the final, they could race for the best lane.’ But that apart, the final is the thing.

Christopher Dodd

The expert’s guide to Olympic road etiquette

Hammer  ‘JKJ’ Smith writes:

“There is a blatant bumptiousness about an Olympic bus that has the knack of arousing every evil instinct in my nature, and I yearn for the good old days when you could go about and tell people what you thought of them with a hatchet and a bow and arrows. The expression of a man – or woman – who gazes down from a smoked glass window with a supercilious expression is sufficient to excuse a breach of the peace by itself; and the lordly honk for you to get out of the way would, I am confident, ensure a verdict of justifiable homicide from any jury of motorists.

If I may say so, without appearing boastful, I think I can honestly say that last week I caused more annoyance and delay and aggravation to Olympic charabancs than most of the taxis and white vans sharing my lanes in the metropolis.

Olympic chara approaching, I would spy in the wing mirror, and edge out to the white line to allow those noble cycling chaps, the best behaved and most law abiding people on the Queen’s highway, plenty of room to undertake me.  The vehicle behind would invariably make the same manoevre to try and see what the obstruction is ahead, and Olympic bus with its ruddy-faced pilot would be forced to a halt until the crocodile stretching for miles from West End to City to East End moved forward an inch or two.

It took me two and half days in the unsavoury company of white vans etc to reach the holy Olympic Park in a place called Stratford (which bears no resemblance to the propaganda of a sleepy tudor town beloved of the nation’s treasure, William Shakespeare, that we have been sold) only to discover that,  unless you already possess the precious accreditation that you have come all this way to obtain, you cannot get through the barbed wire to present yourself at the accreditation office.

I was about to embark on civil disobedience which I spied some rockets poking above a roof, and the place was crawling with troops in combat garb. Of course, Lord Coe is used to running round in circles, but he has lanes marked for his personal use. To say nothing of the BMWs and buses emblazoned with Olympic signage that treat the ordinary humble citizen with such disdain. Pah!

Rowing got there first

LOCOG should have studied rowing form before they mixed up the flags of North and South Korea. Rowing did it first in 1975 when the People’s Republic of China  first sent a team to a FISA championships, being held in Nottingham. The Chinese nationalist flag (Taiwan, formerly Formosa) was proudly flown in front of County Hall in West Bridgford, and an almighty argument followed which launched the world championships in a blaze of glorious publicity. Everything was eventually sorted by Nottingham and Union RC helping the Chinese mix the right shade of red for the blades borrowed from Union, and by local diplomat Martin Brnadon-Bravo and his wife Sally who hosted a 12-course banquet for invited dignitaries at the city’s Pagoda restaurant.

Hammer Smith

Bridge C, Olympic Park, Stratford

Doggett’s 2012: Merlin rockets

Doggett’s Coat and Badge, 20 July 2012 

 

On the eve of the 25^th Olympic regatta come two really important events – Doggett’s Coat and Badge, the oldest continuous rowing and, indeed, sports event in Britain, and the River Thames Barge Driving Race that is to lightermen as Doggett’s is to watermen.

This year’s Doggett’s, on the traditional London Bridge to Chelsea course, was won by Merlin Dwan who becomes the fifth member of the Dwan family to win the severe test of sculling and watermanship over five miles and four furlongs through the bridges of the Tideway.  Merlin’s dad John won in 1977, his uncle Ken in 1971 and Ken’s sons Nick and Bobby in 2002 and 2004 respectively.

With a name like Merlin, Dwan was destined to win in his second attempt at Doggett’s. Sculling for London RC, he began well as soon as the start was given at Swan Stairs, avoiding any baulking and reaching the first bridge, Cannon Street Railway, in a good position under the centre arch and in the centre of the tide.

Ben McCann of Poplar, meanwhile, did himself no favours by taking the northern arch of Cannon Street and losing ground. It was Dan Alloway (Imperial College) and Nat Brice (Poplar) who kept Dwan on his toes in the early part of the race, particularly Alloway who opted to cut the corner on the south side after passing under Blackfriars road bridge.

Dwan, I was told, has hot head tendencies, but he kept his cool and gradually stretched out an unassailable lead in the sunshine on untroublesome water.  He was comfortably ahead at Waterloo Bridge and by Westminster, Alloway, his nearest challenger, was beginning to flag — no longer, it seems, sustained by the stunning angel tattooed on his right arm. Dwan was in command of the river, while the umpire and press launches slid past McCann, then Stuart Coleman (Poplar), then Brice. Twenty-four and a half minutes after leaving Swan Stairs Merlin became the fifth Dwan to arrive first at the race finish, the site of the Old Swan Inn in Chelsea, near Cadogan Pier. As race commentator Gary Anness (who won this race 30 years ago) said, Dwan sculled a middle-diddle race, not a foot wrong.

Christopher Dodd

298^th Doggett’s Coat and Badge, 20 July 2012 (London Bridge to Chelsea)

1 Merlin Dwan (LRC) 24:28

2 Daniel Alloway (IC) 25.41

3 Nathaniel Brice (Poplar Blackwall & District) 26.16

4 Stuart Coleman (Poplar Blackwall & District) 27:10

5 Ben McCann (Poplar Blackwall & District) 29.23

Driving out of history

River Thames Barge Driving Race, Saturday 21 July 2012

The barge driving race started in 1976 under the auspices of Transport On Water (TOW) that was set up by trades unions, the Watermen’s and Lightermen’s Company and docklands MPs to sell the waterway of the Thames as a commercial prospect in the face of changes in the way trade and goods were handled.

The race is run over a seven-mile course with the tide from Greenwich Palace to Westminster Palace, open to weight categories of lighters manned by crews of five watermen. Each crew must contain at least one apprentice.  The overall winner was Diana from Trinity Buoy Wharf, a 112-year-old barge manned by the Smith family. Runner up was Steve Faldo of Capital Pleasure Boats, witnessed by hundreds of passengers on dozens of steamers and tugs that follow the race.  As the commentator aboard the Princess Pocahontas  put it, the Thames was alive again.

The three weight categories start simultaneously from Tunnel Glucose, Trafalgar Tavern and Convoy’s Wharf Lower respectively.   Each barge is equipped with three wooden sweeps, two at the bows and a steering oar at the stern. Pennants must be gathered from each of three unmanned ‘target barges’ moored in the reaches below Tower Bridge, which entails landing a man to collect the flag.

Three or four barges arrived at one of these simultaneously like giant dodgem cars, and the first to touch base with the target , the Darren Lacey , became the last to get away, while Hoppy left a man stranded on the target barge. He plunged into the deep and was hoisted aboard as Hoppy made off first. Meanwhile, a combination of the target barge’s mooring buoy and the next barge to attempt to pick up a pennant turned the Darren Lacey half circle, creating all manner of problems for the crew but excitement for the spectators.

Sculling and pulling in jubilee pageants and the like certainly adds glamour to hard work, but taking a run up a board with a big sweep oar and hurling yourself back to drive a barge is surely not for the faint hearted.  The race illuminates the skill and precision which was required before tugs came along , to say nothing of what it must have been like to manoeuvre a loaded lighter on a dark and foggy night when the tide’s running out.  It’s a sobering thought, too, that the race programme contained obituaries of two men lost in accidents on the river in 2011.

Christopher Dodd

River Thames Barge Driving Race – finishing order

1 Diana, 2 Steve Faldo, 3 Blackwall, 4 Balmoral, 5 Benjamin, 6 Shell Bay, 7 Spirit of Mountbatten, 8 Hoppy, 9 Ian Campbell, 10 Jane, 11 Darren Lacey.

Facing the Cultural Olympiad music

Henley-on-Thames, Friday 29 June 2012

Henley Symphony Orchestra gave a Regatta concert at St Mary’s Church on Wednesday which, says their programme, is part of the London 2012 Cultural Olympiad. The HSO ranks among the best amateur  orchestras in the country, and their rendition of Eric Coates’s ‘Oxford Street’, Elgar’s ‘Nimrod’ and ‘Pomp and Circumstance’, Vangelis’s ‘Chariots of Fire’ and Orlando Gough’s Olympic-commissioned overture ‘Traditional Values’ (that included a movement called ‘Brollie Bits’) was superb — even if parts of Gough’s work sounded like a muster in a bluster at the Barrier.

The hymn sheet tells you where the Cultural Olympiad is coming from — the last night of the Proms. ‘Chariots of Fire’ is rousingly Olympic, OK, but this must be an opportunity missed for a concert within a bugle call of the 1908 and 1948 Olympic course. Where is Handel and his Water Musick? Where is the Willowing Sway of the Hands Away? Where is the music hall songs of the scullers of coaly Tyne? Where is ‘Row, Row your boat, Gently down the stream’? Where is the theme tune from ‘Bert and Dickie’?

The programme at St Mary’s was extracted from the HSO’s concert  at Shiplake College on the previous Sunday that also included  Tchaikovsky’s 1812. Too bad they didn’t bring this to the church, because on the first day of the 1908 Olympic regatta the Russian composer’s glorious clash of canon and bells was played on the riverbank opposite Leander, where competitors were no doubt enjoying a libation. I expect the crew from St. Petersburg University would have enjoyed that . Pity the Cultural Olympiad seems to be concerned only with pomp while knowing nothing about circumstance.

Christopher Dodd

Dawn at Henley Royal 2012

Henley-on-Thames, Wednesday 27 June

Geese and Greenwich mean time

At 5.50 a.m. the sculler from El Salvador, Vargas Paloma, paddled gently downstream past the enclosure, her blue and white striped blades reflecting perfectly the striped façade of the boat tents.  The lawn was dewy in perfect mown lanes. It was warm and still under wafting light grey clouds, tinged with the salmon of sunrise. This is the best moment of the first day of HRR, before the crowds arrive and the racing starts. Then a tractor drove onto the lawn hauling a trailer stacked with deckchairs, and  the litter gatherers began to set them out.

The first launch of the day slides towards the start with umpire Smallbone and chairman Sweeney standing behind the driver and noting anything out of order. A radio message comes in to commentator Blandford-Baker that the quarter mile signal has nobody manning it for the first race. ‘We’ll have to wing it.’ Recorders Cadbury and Jabale fiddle around with their timepieces and the pro-formas they will fill in to report the details of the first race of 2012 Henley — a heat of the Thames Cup between  Greenwich’s Curlew Rowing Club A crew and, Sod’s Law of the Draw, Curlew Rowing Club B crew. Sweeney is suspicious that he has seen no Canada geese. A little further on, a meadow comes into view that is a mass of Canadian geese. They are being watched by the crew of a small catamaran armed with sliced loafs. The traffic lights telling the umpire that the course is clear are not working.

Precisely at 8.30 am, Smallbone begins the starting ritual for the two Curlews, having requested, firmly, an Eton crew to back off from the downstream end of the start pontoon.  The Eton shell is named Constantine Louloudis after the injured stroke of the GB national eight. A lone figure in the little stand overlooking the start is Charlie Wiggin, commentator for Regatta Radio. Are you ready, Go! says Smallbone, and off they set. The ‘A’ crew on Bucks streaks away and soon builds a commanding lead.

There is one occupied boat moored on the booms opposite the enclosures. The occupant is the likely lad Rodney Bewes, London RC’s most regular supporter, and he waves to the first umpire’s launch of the day.

There is a new results board in the style of a cricket scoreboard. Gone are the ropes that operated it like a dumb waiter, replaced by hinged doors displaying lengths and time like a conjurer’s magic box. The operatives have not mastered the hinges yet, and some confusion reigns.

One thing that’s different this year is the over-gilt presence of Gloriana, a million quid’s worth of a gilded 18-oar barge, a replica of a seventeenth century stretch limo that will get an outing in the lunch break on Sunday. Rumour has it that Mark Edward’s magnificent vessel has twin engines fitted to supplement oars. Were they engaged when Gloriana led the Diamond Jubilee pageant on the Thames?

Steward Topolski is wearing a new hat this year as he supervises activity round the boat tents. On Tuesday he was awarded the British Association of Rowing Journalists’ Journalist of the Year award for his commentaries on the BBC.

Christopher Dodd